Evening Memories

Hello Lovelies,

I have something a little personal to share with you all today.  I lost my best friend in 2006, and I have long since struggled with losing him.  Today, I'd like to share a quick poem that I wrote a year or so ago about him.  I understand that this isn't the cheery stuff I try to keep going on here, but we all have our quiet days, and right now...well, I just feel like honoring him with this.  And it's better to let it out than try and keep it hidden away where it eats at you.  So, please, be kind and respectful of the fact that this is my work, my words, my very mangled heart on a page.  

New Home!

Hello Lovelies,



Hello from Vancouver, Washington!  That's right, we've moved...again lol.  I'm telling you guys, we move all the time, our life is never boring haha.  We just don't want to get too settled and slip into mediocrity, or something like that!  But, I wanted to take a moment to say hello and wish everyone a happy fall!  October has become my favorite month(though previously it was September, so it's not like it's really changed); I think because fall really takes a hold and the holidays begin.  As you can see below, Vancouver does fall right :)

Introspective Big Magic

Hello Lovelies,



I know it's been forever and a day...and that's because there's always something crazy happening in my life, and today is no different.  But the reason I've been inspired to reach out today of all days, because obviously it's been hectic and crazy for the last however long since I last wrote to you, the reason I chose today, or that more specifically, today chose me, was a combination of things, really.

First of all, I've been reading...no, let's be honest, the thing that really started this was feeling like I need to get back to who I am.  I feel like when I first got to Washington, life was hectic, but it was pretty good.  And I feel like I'd made a lot of progress and I was really becoming the person I wanted to be in terms of being very centered and spiritual, not religious per se, but spiritual.  And I feel like my time here in Washington has been not what I expected.  It has taken me in a completely different direction, to the point that I feel just like I did when I lived in California; maybe a little bit better, maybe not so angry at the world, but nonetheless, very similar.  And I wanted to get back to that place of peace and contentment that I had in my time in Oregon, at the end of my time in Oregon.  I won't lie and say that life in Oregon was all sunshine and roses, no life in Oregon was shit show after shit show, but towards the tail of end of it, there was some real progress being made.  There were real successes on my end that have been, because they were successful, slightly swept under in the rug in terms of, "Well, we already did that, so moving on, what's next in life?"

Find Your Court

Hello Lovelies,

As I sit here, I find myself almost at a loss of what to say, because there are so many things that I want to say.  I'd like to start by that it's almost a form of nostalgia that has me here today writing to you.  My life has both settled and become more complicated.  I find myself putting old demons to bed.  And though they never go away entirely, they are, at least temporarily, put in their place, as I allow peace and light to ensconce my soul and drive their darkness away.

Life

Hello Lovelies,



Sorry, I know it's been awhile and you probably thought I died, or fell of the face of the Earth, or I don't even want to know what you thought haha, but I am here!  And I am sorry for the long wait, but I hope it will be worth it!  So!  How is everyone doing?  I hope everyone is doing well!  My life is as busy, chaotic, crazy, and wackado as ever; but I hope your lives are all going swimmingly!  I am here today to remind you that I am still here, I haven't abandoned you, but life did get in the way a little.

I want to be real with you all, my lovely readers.  I am going to share with you something that very few people outside of my inner circle know, and I hope you'll be kind, but I want you to understand why I sometimes take a bit of a leave of absence and leave you wondering where in the world is Carmen San Diego(please tell me you get that reference!).  So, without further ado: I suffer from depression.  I have suffered on and off for the last 12 years.  I am recently in therapy for it, but that still doesn't mean I have my life figured out.  I am still learning.  I am still growing.  And recently, things at work, things with my therapist, and just life in general, have gotten a little crazy.  And I've been suffering some pretty bad bouts of depression because of those changes.  I felt like I had no right to be here, talking with all your lovely selves, when I can't even keep my own life under control.  Who am I to try and be inspirational when I can't manage to keep myself inspired?  Tons of self destructive thoughts came at me and I couldn't tackle them, and you, unfortunately, suffered as a side effect of my depression.  I would like to think that I am getting back on track and I am getting back to a place of peace and serenity, having regained some of the confidence that I lost when I first started this blog!  So, I don't want to get into my depression and use this as a place to let it out, because this is supposed to be inspiring, and well, talk of depression is the exact opposite.  So, all I want to say is: please, hang in there.  I may go away at times, because my depression gets the better of me, but I will come back.  I just need some time to recuperate and get back to being the person that you all deserve.  And if anyone out there also suffers from depression, I absolutely know where you're at, so feel free to message me and say you need to talk.  I am always here for you my lovely readers.  I hope you know that even though I may be going through a tough time, that doesn't mean I'm not still here for you if you need me.  Just reach out, and I'll be there!  So, I strongly encourage anyone that might be battling with depression to get the help they need, and know that there are plenty of people out there that are fighting the same demons as you.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  I hide my depression because I don't want people to look at me differently.  But, once I let it out, I wear it as armor, because then it can't be used against me.

Be You!

Hello Lovelies,



Good morning to you!  I know it's been forever and a day, and you probably thought I was never coming back, but alas, here I am!  I'm sorry to have left you guys so abruptly.  Things got a little busy and hectic and I apologize for not making more time for all of you!

Challenge of the Day: Be Positive!

Good morning Lovelies,



How is everyone doing this lovely FRIDAY!  That's right, tis Friday, a most splendid day of the week!  Even if you do work tomorrow, Friday's are still good days!  Everyone's in a better mood on Fridays.  It makes dealing with the public so much easier!  And, usually places are busier on Fridays, so that makes work go by faster, right?  #findingthegood That just happened, eheheh...Anyway, I hope that you guys are all doing great, ready for an amazing day!

Let's Do This!

Hello Lovelies,



Did you miss me?  I know it's been a little, but I hope all is well!  So, today I wanted to talk about life, and jobs, and general craziness.  I don't know if it's something in the water or what, but I mean, really and truly everyone I know is talking about how much they hate their job lately.  And it's wackado that it's like everyone complaining! So today, I really wanted to talk to you guys about what to do with your life, I guess.  Like when you hate your job, what do you do?  Personally, I feel like if you're not happy, you spend probably the majority of your time at work, so if you're not happy, just leave.  Make your life a smidgeon better, maybe eons better, it depends on how unhappy you are, but you know, do something about it, don't just tolerate it and let it slowly eat at you.  That's just miserable for everyone.

Good Vibes

Hello Lovelies,



So, today is going to be a quick one, but I wanted to stop in, say hi, let you know that as usual, I'm sending love and positive vibes your way!  I had my walk in the woods today, so I'm feeling awesome!  I got some new makeup and new shoes, then went for a walk with my pup.  All in all, it's a pretty awesome feeling, and I'm pretty happy.  Not pretty happy, I am happy!  But I just wanted to check in on you guys?  How's it going with recharging and refilling that well within yourself?  I hope you're able to make some progress!

Rest and Recharge

Good Morning Lovelies,



How is everyone doing this lovely Friday?  I won't lie, it's not really a lovely Friday here in the Pacific Northwest, it's cloudy and kind of chilly, in the high 50s...yay....and it's supposed to rain over the weekend, bleh!  But that's life in the Pac NW, I hope things are better wherever you are!  Anywho!  I wanted to check in with all of your bright and shining faces and see how everyone was doing, wish everyone well!  I want to encourage all of you to do something for yourself today and this weekend.  Take some time to do something that you enjoy, or something that's relaxing, or something that fills up a part of you that gets drained during the week.  I don't know if that something would be something exciting, relaxing, or fulfilling; it differs for everyone, but I'd like to encourage you to find something for yourself this weekend!  Get out there and fill up that part of yourself that gets drained during the week.

54321 Game

Hello Lovelies,



How is everyone doing today?  I hope that all is well!  I personally have had a bit of a rough day, but I'm trying to put it behind me!  I am listening to music that makes me think of sunshine and good times, I turned on my salt lamp, and I've got two awesome smelling candles burning beside me.  All in all, though it was a little rough around the edges, I'm really hoping to make the most of my evening and have a good night!

Good Morning!

Hello Lovelies,



I hope today finds you well!  I just wanted to stop in before I head to work and impart some thoughts with all of you.  So, I read a quote this morning that said "small minds can't comprehend big spirits.  To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood."  That's something that really resonates within me.  I have made a lot of choices in the last year or so that people don't understand.  I've made decisions that have caused people to view me differently.  I've changed, and some of the people that never really knew me to begin with, feel as though I've become someone worthy of their hate.  Let me tell you, I have not once, not for one millisecond, doubted the actions I've taken.  I know that I am a difficult person to love.  I have a BIG spirit.  I'm not an easy person to figure out, and I know there are plenty of people with similar personalities to mine out there, and I want you to know, you're not alone.  Though people may criticize you, tell you to calm down, tell you to not make so many waves, let me assure you, the moon makes waves all the time, it's okay for you to do the same.  A quote that I quite like says "she was never crazy.  She just didn't let her heart settle in a cage.  She was born wild, and sometimes we need people like her.  For it's the horrors in her heart which cause the flames in ours.  And she was always willing to burn for everything she has ever loved."  Now, if you're like me, this quote will resonate with you.  It takes a special person to understand our big spirits.

Happy Saturday!

Hello Lovelies,



I don't know about you, but for me, today is a great day!  It's Saturday, which is awesome since I'm lucky enough to not have to work on Saturdays.  It's sunny and warm, which is rare up here in Washington, especially in April.  I got my newest Lokai bracelet(if you don't know what Lokai is or what it's about, check out their website here, they're amazing and I LOVE them), which benefits the Make-a-Wish foundation, and it's crazy cool tie dye looking.  I took my pup out for a walk, and it was glorious to be out and about in this beautiful weather.  We even made a pit stop at Starbucks to get, you guessed it, a puppuccino for my little girl :) And on top of that, I got my drink for a whopping 29 cents!  What what!  All in all, it's been a pretty awesome day so far!  So, I guess I wanted to say hi and wish you guys a happy day too!

Career Goals

Hello Lovelies,



I know, I know, it's been forever since I last wrote, I apologize.  I have been having a lot of chaos happening both at work and in my personal life and things have gotten away from me.  I hope that things are going well for you though!  So, before any of you ask, things are potentially better, but I'm not really sure yet, there's still a lot of stuff up in the air!  Today, I want to talk about career goals and ambitions.

Sneak Peek

Hello Lovelies,



So, for those of you that are interested in reading my little harlequin-esque teen romance novel, Decision, you can now purchase it on Lulu, in either paperback or e-book format, by clicking here, or you can wait just a little longer and it will be available on iTunes and Barnes and Noble as an e-book, so take your pick!  But, that's not the sneak peek...the sneak peek is that there are two, count them, two, playlists for you to be able to listen to and get a backstage pass and sneak peek into the lives of the characters as I see them!  So, if you're reading Decision, or maybe already finished it, check out the link here, and take a listen to immerse even further into their world.  And, once you finish Decision, and you just can't wait to read Return(it's coming guys, it's almost there, I'm probably 3/4 done!), click on this link, and you'll be able to get over to get an inside look at what to expect for book two!  I'm excited, I hope you're excited, and if you don't know what Decision and Return are, well, you, my friend, are missing out!  But, check out the first link there, to take you over to Lulu and get an idea of what's going on!  So, yeah, that's all for now, but I hope you guys like the music!  I hope it adds an extra dimension to the books for you and you enjoy it!

Staying Calm

Hello Lovelies,



Sorry for the lack of postings lately, I know that that seems to be a common apology lately, and I am trying to be better about that.  But, the good news is that I'm here now!  So, how is everyone this lovely evening?  I hope that you've had a good day, and if you haven't, please allow this to be a bright point of your day.  Today has been a bit of a weird day for me.  I've had my points where I am feeling great and happy, as well as the points where I am feeling angry, sad, and disappointed.  But, I am feeling pretty happy about now and I'd like to inspire any of you that may be feeling slightly angry, sad, or disappointed to know you can turn your day around.

In Case You Haven't Heard...

Hello Lovelies ,

I hope you're all having a good Tuesday, I can't believe it's Tuesday already! But I just wanted to say, in case you haven't heard, drum roll please....I am a published (granted that's self-published, but still) author!  My novel, Decision is officially for sale!  That's right, head on over to the Lulu landing page to pick up your copy today!  I'm about half-way through Return, the second book, so if you like Decision, there is a book two on its way!  I've left the introductory chapter to Return on my other blog, Rawles Writings, so that once you finish Decision, you can have a taste of what book two, Return, will offer.  But for now, I'll leave you with a bit of chapter one from Decision; just to whet your appetite and show you what you're missing by not having this book in your life.

Try Something New

Hello Lovelies,



Happy Friday!  I have kind of a quirky post today, I'd like to talk about hobbies.  I know you're probably like, "wait what?  Hobbies?"  Yes, hobbies.  So, as you all know, I've moved recently.  And with moving comes finding new things to do, new places to go, new things to see!  It's all very exciting, and yet slightly boring.  You see, when you're new, there's so much potential, but you're probably a little shy, and you don't yet know where to go and what to do and what to see.  So it can almost seem like you should just be a shut in all day.  But, I am here to say that I have reached the point that I don't want to be a shut in!  My lovely husband, Jordan, and I have been talking, and we think we can see ourselves settling down here in the state of Washington.  I love the water and the forests and he loves the water and the fact that Seattle is in our backyard.  So, we've been talking about it and I brought up that we should start having some hobbies, because hobbies are what makes you new friends, gets you and about, just makes you excited about life!  He's all on board and totally gung-ho, so we're going to try some new hobbies as well as get back to our old hobbies.

Find Your Truth

Hello Lovelies,



I wanted to do a quick check in, say hi, prove to you that I will be better about posting again(post-moving to our new house), and hopefully still be inspiring and uplifting!  So, I wanted to talk about quotes today.  I have a love affair with quotes.  Like seriously, I wonder sometimes how many of my thoughts are actually my thoughts, and how many are quotes and thoughts of other people stitched together to make my "thought".  I think everyone is full of bits and pieces of quotes, song lyrics, idioms, etc, of other people.  It's only natural.  They, and by "they" I mean the big wigs of the scientific community, say we become like the three or five people we spend most of our time with, so there must be some truth being quotes and saying and song lyrics stitched together.

Sunshine and Joy

Hello Lovelies,

I don't know about where you are, but here in my little corner of the world, it is finally sunny! After days upon days of gloom and full on rain, we finally have sun!  And, the real reason for my excitement, is because my baby boy, who had been lost for weeks (see my last post for my allusion to his getting out), has been given back to us! 

Life Happens

Hello Lovelies,

I just wanted to give a quick heads up, let you know that I'm not dead!  I know it's been awhile, but well, there's been some chaos in the last few weeks that took precedence over writing.  What started as stressful enough of a time because of a move, has turned into a giant stress ball.  So, I'm trying to find the positives, and I'm trying to keep thinking positively, and know that everything is going to turn out the way it's supposed to, but that's been really hard these last few weeks.

Moving!

Hello Lovelies,

How are you doing this beautiful morning?  I hope you're doing well and you're feeling the positivity radiating around you!  I suppose it might not be morning when you read this, but I hope that whatever time it may be, you're feeling the universe working with you.  I just wanted to do a quick check in, say hi, not really get into anything too heavy today.  I also wanted to say I hope you had a great Shambhala Day, a great Chinese New Year, or a great Mardi Gras, whatever you celebrate, they were all happening in the last few days, so I'm hoping that if any of you celebrate any of those holidays that you did so in fabulous style.

Shambhala Day 2016

Hello Lovelies,

Happy Shambhala Day to you! If you don't know what Shambhala Day is, it's the Tibetan new year. I know you may be wondering what this has to do with anything, but as a taoist/zen buddhist, Shambhala Day is the equivalent of Christmas in these circles.  It's a major holiday, just like Chinese New Year. So, again, joyous Shambhala Day to you!

This is my first year celebrating Shambhala Day, I've only decidedly been taoist and zen buddhist since the mid-2015. I will by no means speak as though I'm an expert on this today, but from what I gather, it's basically a karmic cleansing and celebration for the new year.  So, typically one would start the day with meditation to center oneself. Then it would be normal to cleanse your house by opening every door, closet, or drawer and burning juniper while doing a simple chant to invite positive spirits and energy; though if you don't know the chant or don't really understand it, you can just think positive thoughts to invite those spirits. Then get ready for your day by dressing up. We want to be excited for this new year, and we want to bring it in with our best foot forward. Next, spend some time reflecting on your life, preferably in nature, and contemplating new choices you can make this year to make it the life you want. You can also do some research about the animal of the year, in this case, the fire monkey. And that's about it, unless you want to head to a shambhala center or buddhist center, where they will undoubtedly have celebrations.

Basically, it's about starting the year off on a good note, clearing out those karmic dust bunnies, and starting the year off with positivity. I'm excited today. I'm happy today. I'm approaching today as a celebration, even though I am going to work in just a bit. I'm going to carry my positivity, and the spirit of shambhala day with me throughout my day. I want my day today to be lived with a peaceful, gentle, and loving heart. That's what will be my guide today. I gave my spare change to a homeless man outside Starbucks this morning for that very reason. I didn't hesitate or really think about it at all, I just knew I had change and I could afford to spare it, so I gave it to him.  It might not make a huge difference for him, or maybe it will, but it didn't hurt me any, and it might help him, so why not? 

It's Shambhala Day, let's spread the love, gentleness, peacefulness, and be kindhearted today. It takes nothing from us, but maybe a moment to rethink our initial reaction, but it helps start our year out on the right foot. Today, if only just for today, let's give today the best version of ourselves. Let's speak a little kinder, love a little harder, spread a little more joy, act a little more gently, etc. We can do this. And let's be excited for this new year!  Let's embrace today as we do Christmas, and treat everyone as we do during the holiday season. Let's start our karma off right. Let's be the best version of ourselves possible. Let's make ourselves, our loved ones, our ancestors, our divine inner being, proud by being the person that makes everyone's day a little brighter just by shining a little brighter ourselves.

As always lovelies, have an amazing day!  You are going to do amazing things, I know it, and I believe in you!  Now let's go enchant the rest of the world!

Xoxo
Kayla

Why "Enchant Me Inspired"?

Hello lovelies,

I don't know if it's Saturday for you, you might be reading this after the fact, but it's Saturday for me as I write this. I'm actually about to head in for work, and I just wanted to make a quick note about something for you. The name of this blog, Enchant Me Inspired, you might not have thought much about it, or maybe you have, but I wanted to give a little clarification as to why I chose it.

The reason I chose it is this: I started an Instagram account awhile back (@enchantmeinspired or just click here) that was all about posting inspiring quotes and photos. It was something that I was looking for in my own life, and something I could have used in the past. I've always been drawn to quotes, as you undoubtedly already know, and I wanted to start sharing my love for quotes with the world and bringing a bit more positivity and light into my life. By helping others find positive things I was helping myself.  Hence the "inspired" part of the name.

Then, I happened to be listening to Taylor Swift, and I heard the song "Enchanted" that says "I was enchanted to meet you". And I love that word, enchanted. There's something ethereal and dramatic about the word. It's not a normal word, and that was another reason I liked it. It evoked this feeling of something with more grandeur than our common diction would indicate.

So now I have some ideas for names, but nothing is striking me as the perfect name. Then I thought of the saying "color me curious", I don't know if any of you know that quote, but I'd heard it occasionally as a child.  I knew that I somehow wanted to work the word enchant into the name, how, I didn't know, but I wanted it in there somehow.  And then, poof, just like that, Enchant Me Inspired.  I loved it!  It was perfect from the very beginning, and I couldn't wait to start posting things to Instagram with my fancy new name!  It was everything I'd hoped it would be and more.  I even found a picture of this girl in a princess-like dress running towards a castle that became my profile picture, and I thought to myself, "this couldn't be any more perfect!"  It takes me back to a world of princes and princesses, where people made "the big gesture" to those they love, and it was easy to inspire people with tales of heroics and intrigue, and I couldn't have been happier.  So, imagine my giddiness when I came around to starting a new blog, and I find myself looking for a name for my blog about finding yourself and finding positivity and good people to help support you.  It was kismet, I knew it.  

And that my lovelies, is my love affair with the name of this blog.  I know I probably can't do it justice, to describe what all it makes me feel, but imagine fairy tales and the sense of wonder and excitement, and then imagine quotes and words being able to lift you up and inspire you, and that is what I feel when I look at my Instagram for Enchant Me Inspired, and I hope it's what you will feel as you read my blog as well as when you look at my photos on Instagram.  I will be weaving stories for you to enjoy and be inspired from.  That's my goal.  Anyway, with that said, below is the picture from my Instagram, though I do intend to get someone to come up with a design that will be all my own, instead of using some random photo.  But until then, get swept away in the romance and idyllic nature of it all, I know I did.

xoxo

Karia (that's my princess name courtesy of Pinterest)

Randomness!

Hey Lovelies,

How are you doing this fine day??  I hope you're doing well!  I hope you've had someone tell you that you're awesome and you are rocking this day!  If you haven't, well hey hey hey, guess what?  You are AWESOME and you are ROCKING this day!  Bam!  Just like that, day made :) Oh, hey, and one other thing, you look amazing.  Like seriously, that thing you're doing with you hair, mhmm, keep that up #killingit :D

Anywho!  Today's post is just a random one, duhr, hence the title.  I just wanted to check in, say hey, have a little bit of an easy day.  I told y'all I'm gonna have days where I just talk the easy peasy, boring, what goes on in every day life stuff.  Today is that day.  It has come.

So yeah.  I took my pup out for a walk, she was pretty good, she has a tendency to whine when we see other dogs, yayyyy, best thing ever...lol.  But other than that, she was good!  It's always nice to just get out with her.  We're going to make a trip to Starbucks here in a bit and get her a pupaccino(I have no idea how you spell that lol).  Because in case you guys were doubting my need for Starbucks, there you go, I'm so addicted, I also have my dog getting cups of whipped cream, and the barista's where we used to live just knew.  They knew that every Saturday morning we'd come by and my Daisy-do was going to get a pupaccino.  I think I've only had one barista not know what I was talking about, so if you want your dog addicted, "pupaccino", that's the code word.

Other than that, I just bought a Toothless shirt from Hot Topic!  I'm so stoked!!!  It's ADORABLE!  It's actually a guys shirt, but whatever, I'm sure it'll fit fine, and even if it doesn't, fine, then it can be a night shirt.  I ain't picky!  I just love me some Toothless.  And then *cough I might have a problem cough*, I spent around 30-40 minutes looking on Etsy for stuff with Toothless on it.  And then, I may have looked for stuff with Baymax on it.  AND THEN, I may have looked for stuff with Toothless and Baymax.  That may or may not have been followed up by searching Pinterest for stuff with Toothless and Baymax as well....maybe Starbucks isn't my only problem...But really, I just think that they're both adorable!  And I want my own Toothless, Daisy kind of already is a Toothless, but come on, Toothless is adorkable!  And Baymax is just like this life-size teddy bear.  How could you not want a Baymax?  Anyway, that was my little online searching for things that make me happy :)  And now I'm getting a Toothless shirt, so yay me!  Now I'm just waiting trying to find a little Toothless figurine or something that I can have on my nightstand.  That's on my to find list!  I may have added a thing or two to my favorites list on Etsy that I'm considering... :)

But yeah!  I told you, this was going to be a short one, and sure enough, I'm pretty much done!  Maybe I'll have more to add later, but for now, I think I'm good!  If you love yourself some Toothless or Baymax, share with me your favorite thing of theirs so I can maybe buy it for myself!  And I'll post a photo once I get my shirt in case any of you want it too.  Hot Topic, that's where I got mine, so check it out.  And if you haven't used Etsy, oh man, you're missing out on a world of wonder.  Go and check Etsy out if you haven't.  It's like Amazon, but it's all homemade stuff, so you can find literally anything on there.  I have found some amazing gifts on Etsy that the people have loved!  Some examples: a gun mug(literally a mug that is in the shape of a gun for my police officer brother), a Spartan warrior picture on a Roman encyclopedia page(my other brother LOVED that), long distance love  mugs(for my bestie when I moved away from home for school), a super cute bird's nest necklace with a baby bird in it(for my sister's first Mother's Day), etc.  Trust me, they have adorable stuff, and some amazing artwork!  I buy a lot of artwork on Etsy cuz it's amazing stuff, for amazing prices.  Check it out!  Okay, that's enough of my Etsy plug...I better be getting paid for that...

Anyway, that's all for today folks :) Oh, in case you didn't believe me, here's a picture of my pupaccino loving pup :)

You may now continue on with your day!

xoxo

Kona

Tattoos

Hello lovelies,

So glad you came back :) I hope you're enjoying what I have to say so far.  Though let's be honest, clearly you are, or you wouldn't be back, am I right?  Yes, don't lie.  So!  Today, or quite frankly, more like 20 minutes ago, I was thinking about how I sometimes forget who I am, not like I have amnesia or Alzheimers, don't worry, I know you were worried for a second there, but in all seriousness I forget what makes me me.  I hate that.  I hate going about my day and feeling like I'm this shell of myself because I work in customer service, and I'm working long hours(read my last post for more on that.  Oh, and in case you were wondering, I start the new job in 2 weeks.  Wahoo!), so I have to put who I really am on the back burner a little bit.  But, I don't like being the super nice person that everyone feels they can walk all over.

I have one hell of a backbone.  I have gone through a lot in my short 20 some-odd years on this planet.  I will fully admit that I've put myself in many of the positions that have forced me to be strong, but either way, I'm grateful.  My husband has said that one of the things he liked most about me when he met me was that I was sassy and spunky and I didn't take crap from people.  I've always been someone that's not afraid to say what I think, no matter the consequence.  Now, this attitude may have gotten me in a LOT of trouble as of late, but I still don't give a rip.  I am who I am, and you can take it or leave it because I don't really care what you think if you don't like me.  It's taken me this many years to get to a place where I like myself unconditionally, and I've since stopped caring what other people thought of me.  I know a lot of people struggle with having that confidence, and honestly I don't really consider it confidence, I just consider it strength.  I know that I've gone through a lot of crap that most people never do, so I know myself really well.  I've spent a lot of time digging through layer after layer of dirt, sweat, and tears to get to who I am on the inside, and I am the most juxtaposed person you will ever meet.  I am on one hand, super sweet, eager to lend a hand, very attached, etc.  On the other hand, I am a smart-ass, I will argue with you, I'll pick on you, in general, I'll be more a problem child.  These two sides come together to make up me.

I am gaining back the wisdom I had years ago about who I am, and what I'm capable of, and I'm loving it.  I am a lot of things, but if I had to choose one word, I would say I'm a fighter.  I fight for what I believe in, though I'm willing to have my beliefs change with me as I grow and learn.  I fight for my friendships and relationships, once I bond with you, I will do anything I can to keep that relationship.   I fight for the underdog, because I know what it feels like to be on the bottom and have no one believe in you.  I fight for honesty and integrity and being a good person, because, well duh.  And when I say I fight, I mean, I love the quote that if nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong.  I say: make enemies, burn bridges, be unequivocally you, because the people that are going to love you, are going to love you even with your craziness, but the people that aren't really part of your group, and don't really love you, well they won't stick around.  And believe me, it's not easy being this way, because most people don't understand who I am, so they walk away, or treat me like dirt.  It's not easy walking away from those people, because I don't like giving up on people, but once you wrong me, nuh-uh sweetheart, you're done.  I don't have time for part-time people in my life.  Sorry Felicia.

This brings me back to the title of this post, tattoos!  Yay tattoos!  I have a few, but I want more, and I was thinking this evening, I really want to get a few more done soon because I feel like having these symbols that show the different sides to me really helps to show people, immediately, who I am.  I have a heart and a star on my left wrist, and I love them, absolutely, but they're very soft and feminine.  But now, I want a bear and wolf tattoo because my spirit animal is a bear, and my totem animal is a wolf.  So I want both.  Because to me, it's a way of reminding myself, and showing others, "Hey, this is who I am."  When I forget that I'm a badass that doesn't take shit from anyone, I can glance down and see that bear or wolf and remember, "Oh no.  We do things a little differently here.  I don't play that game my friend, go find someone else."  I already see the soft feminine tattoos and think, "Oh, pretty pink fluffy bunnies, hopping through a green grassy meadow."  Not really, but you get the idea.  I want tattoos that represent who I am now, and that's a bear or a wolf.  An animal that is super gentle with those it loves, but vicious when under attack.  Welcome to the story of me.

To me, that's what tattoos are: they're a story.  They show who you were in a perfect snapshot.  For the rest of your life, you have a snippet of that exact day and time of your life, and where you were mentally and emotionally, and to me, that's beautiful.  Nowadays, we're all so into having Facebook and Instagram to capture every moment of our lives and share them, and I think that's part of why tattoos are becoming so mainstream; because they are a way of saving a moment of our lives, permanently into our skin.  And in this world of overexposure, who doesn't want that?  Well, certainly some people don't, but you know what I mean. Anyway, tattoos are important and hold significant value to me.  And I think that sometimes getting a tattoo is a way of healing, and sometimes it's a way of reminding yourself who you are, and sometimes it's just because it's pretty and you're drunk, but in the end, it's the story of your life.  They represent you.  Each tattoo is a snippet of the story of you.

If you have tattoos, feel free to share in the comments and tell me what you have and what it means to you.  If you want a tattoo, tell me that too!  Tattoos are an important turning point in this brave new world we're creating, and I personally, love them and the people who have them all the more for them.  So here's to the brave people who show everyone they meet a slice of who they are by having tattoos.

xoxo
Kayla

Intention

Hello lovelies,

Welcome back :) I'm so glad you're here!  I know there was a bit of a delay in getting this next post out, but, that's life; things come up, chaos erupts, and next thing you know, it's been days since your first post.  So, my apologies for the oh-so-overdue post, but here goes!

Since I last wrote in and talked to all of you, I'd been frustrated with my job, feeling like maybe it wasn't really for me, maybe I didn't belong in the industry I've chosen to get back into, and other things.  I was very much on the entrepreneurship train!  And I still am on that train, absolutely, however, I've also had some other things hop on board with me, that have me thinking about my future, and what that may in fact look like.  So, getting to the title of this post, intention, I set an intention through a Facebook group of women that are all about making your dreams happen and making your life the success story you want it to be.  I wrote in on the day we were talking about manifesting our dreams, and I happened to write that "I want" to get a job that makes me happy and that leaves time for me to spend with my fur child, because, whether anyone understands it or not, I feel like Daisy is my child, and I want to spend as much time with her as possible.

I read a quote a long time ago that said "dogs have such short lives, and they spend most of it waiting for us to get home".  That really hit home for me.  I love Daisy, and she is my child, and I know that I didn't do amazing things with her when she was a pup, but I'd like to think I'm helping make up for that now.  So, when I read that, it really struck a nerve, but then came the day that really broke my heart.  I read another quote.  If you haven't already guessed by now, quotes are HUGE for me; prepare yourself to get an influx of inspiration and thought provoking quotations in your memory banks.  This other quote was something along the lines of how we, as humans, have work, have friends, have TV, have all kinds of things that make up our lives, but for our dogs, we are their life.  They don't have a job to go to, they don't get to see their friends, unless we humans take them out, they don't have TV to entertain themselves, they have fetch and other interactive games that involve US, their humans.  So when I stopped and thought about life from my dogs perspective, I realized that I was failing as a mom.  I wasn't giving her the love and attention and freedom that she deserved.  In came the change.  I was fortunate enough to be working part time at this point, when I read these quotes, and I said to myself, no more.  I was no longer going to be one of those people that had a dog as a pet, not a dog as a family member.  I started taking her out on even longer walks, I started taking her anywhere I could when I drove around.  If I went to get gas, she came too.  If I went to the pet store to buy her food, she went too.  If I went to the beach, she went too.  Anywhere I went that she could go, she came.  I started thinking about her more as my child, and less as my pet, and that was really when things started changing.

I didn't realize it until I got a job after moving that involved more hours and a longer commute, so that time with my Daisy was suddenly almost non-existent, that I wanted that time with my Diddle.  She is my child.  People work part time hours when they have little kids; they want to be home with their kids or be there for sports events or other things.  I wanted to be there for Daisy.  I wanted to be there to take her for walks, to take her to explore these new places, to take her to really experience life, like she deserves.  I know that I'm not doing a great job, she doesn't go kayaking or surfing or other crazy stuff that people do with their dogs, but I'm doing the best that I can where I am.  Maybe in another few years we'll be kayaking with her or doing stand up paddle boarding with her, who knows!  But for now, I felt like I was abandoning her, and failing her as a mom.  So, I kept applying for jobs with fewer hours so that I could have more time with her.

I realized that I'd rather cut back on my living expenses(have a cheaper house, not go out to eat as much, not buy designer purses, etc) and have time for the important stuff, and still be able to make ends meet working part time, than have all of those extra perks and less time with Daisy.  Like I said, I didn't realize it at the time, but things started changing when I started treating Daisy like a child, instead of like a dog.  My entire perspective about work, and what it meant to work as an adult, shifted.  I realized I didn't have to work 40 hour weeks.  Just because that's what most people do, doesn't mean that's what I have to do.  Once I realized that, I felt insanely liberated.  When I realized that I could just shift my life goals to, instead of buying a bigger house or nicer things, to working as few hours as possible while still being able to make ends meet, I was ready to do that.  I don't mind working, and I'd even gladly work from home, but the long hours at work, plus a commute, oh no, that was not going to fly.

I've always considered myself an odd duck, and once I realized that I was going against the grain of society in saying, I want to work as few hours as possible, so that I have maximum time with Daisy, while still being able to not be insanely bored or broke, and therefore homeless, I felt like I was excited for my future again.  My future was no longer, "what career am I going to have that will fill up my days", it became, "what job can I do part time that will pay enough".  That, ladies and gentlemen, was like jumping in a pool on a hot summer day; suddenly life was open and exciting again.  I felt like a little kid, when you know the world is your oyster, but you don't REALLY know what that means...you know the feeling!  Yeah, I felt like that again.  I could do whatever I wanted, because it wasn't going to necessarily be a career!  How many part time workers do you know that have a career in what they're doing part time?  Probably not many.  Part time work isn't your career, it's part time, it can't be.  So that stress was instantly gone.

So, again, back to the title, sorry, I got a little side tracked there :) (it happens hehe).  I posted that "manifestation" on Facebook after having gone to an interview for a more part time position at a different company before work(and mind you, no commute time with that job either), and then going to training for a solid 8 hour day, plus a 30 minute commute each way, yayyyyy....totally part time hours...not!  As I was going to lunch, I checked my phone and saw that I had a comment back from one of the leaders of the group, and she said that instead of saying "I want", I should say, "I am"(i.e.: I AM going to get a job I want that allows me to spend more time with Daisy).  So I mentally amended my manifestation and made a mental note that I trusted the universe would do whatever was right for me.  I went through the rest of my day and the next day not really thinking about my manifestation, I was trusting in the universe.  Then, on the day after my interview, as I am on my way home from training, again, I get a phone call from the more part time company offering me the job.  I was BEYOND excited!  I was going to take a slight dip in pay, but I was suddenly going to have an extra 15-20 hours a week with my baby!  I was absolutely, hands down, ecstatic!  I immediately wrote back to the group leader on Facebook and told her what had happened, and she wasn't surprised in the least.  And that was when I knew, these ladies were the real deal.  They are solidly in my favorites group on Facebook, that I want to see what they have to say.  I already knew that setting intentions worked, I'd been told that by other people in the past.  I had done it before, where I changed my thoughts from what was going wrong in life, to what I "knew" was going to happen, and sure enough, each time, when I sent my positive thoughts to what I wanted to happen, it happened.  I am a firm believer in intention setting now, and I strongly urge you to try it!  I know that it sounds cheesy and new-agey, but give it a go, what do you have to lose!?

Honestly, intention setting is just like riding a horse, hopefully at least some of you will understand this haha.  When you ride a horse, they tell you to look where you want the horse to go, because most new riders look at the horse, not at the trail or wherever they're riding, so your horse will then just wander.  However, the minute you look up, and you look where you want your horse to go, the horse goes there!  The first time I was on a horse, I was absolutely looking down at the horse, I mean, come on, it's a horse, they're adorable!  So my horse kept wandering wherever, and I was having to constantly redirect her.  Once the instructor told me to look where I wanted the horse to go, I did, and BAM, the horse walked straight that direction, no problems, no more directing necessary.  I was absolutely shocked!  And intention setting is the same way!  If you don't have any intentions set, you're just going through life, accepting whatever comes your way; but, if you set intentions, you are telling life where you're going, not the other way around.

So, I challenge you, my lovely reader, tomorrow morning, set the intention that "today is going to be a good day", as soon as you get up.  Don't wait around and let the day decide for you whether it's a good day or not, you TELL that day that it's going to be a good one.  See if it makes a difference or not.  I bet it will!  And then, or if you already do that, set bigger intentions!  Come on!  Let's go big or go home!  Set some intentions and let the universe work WITH you to make them happen!

If you want a great book to read about this whole intention setting business, I HIGHLY recommend The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, it's an amazing read, well worth your time, and it's all about how this young boy spends his life wanting more than what he has, but being afraid he can't get it, suffering setbacks, and then realizing once he sets his intention, the universe conspires on his behalf to make it happen.  There's a fun little extra bit about life and how things circle around that you'll probably enjoy too.

All in all, I mean it guys, set intentions, be bold, be brave, tell the universe, you ARE going to have the life you want!  What do you have to lose?  Let's give it a go!  From one exceptionally grateful mom(and a very grateful pup as well) to you, I promise, you won't be disappointed :)

Xoxo

Kona

Welcome!

Hello there!  I am so happy you found me!  My name is Kayla, to certain people Kona, feel free to call me whatever you like!  I'm just stoked you're here :) So, you're probably wondering what this blog is about, well, it's about life; the nitty gritty, the easy fluff stuff, the everyday banal.  We'll cover it all.  So, if you want to talk existential theory, the Kardashians, or about looking for a new job, it's all going to be here.  I promise you.  There's some stuff in the works for my life, details to come later, I promise, but for now, we're going to start simple!

So, you may be wondering, who is this, Kayla, Kona, person?  Well, I am in my mid-twenties, going into late-twenties(when did THAT happen????), living in Washington with my husband, Jordan, and my kiddos, Daisy and Toasty.  Wait, what?  Who names their kid Toasty?  I did, cuz he's a cat.  That's right, I'm a fur mom.  I'm one of those crazy people that considers my pets my children.  They are the loves of my life, even my husband knows he comes second to them, and I would do anything for them.  In all honesty, I've always been more of a dog person than a people person, so my Daisy really is like my child.  Toasty, well, he's a cat, so he can only be so much like a child, but I still think of him as my child.  Believe me, you'll get to know my fur kids plenty as time goes on!  So, what else do I deem important enough to tell you today?  Let's see?  I have a few people that are my idols/heroes, and I think they'll give you some insight into my personality, so, Davidjii(a meditation guru), Jason Silva(public speaker? Maybe?  I don't really know what he classifies himself as, but he's the host of Brain Games), and Audrey Hepburn(please tell me you know who that is!).  So you're probably thinking, "Wow, that's kind of all across the board", and you're right.  I am a very unique person, everyone that knows me, tells me that.  I don't fit into any one box.  Just when you think you have me pegged for something, BAM, I say something that throws it out the window.  Overall though, I'm just a very introspective person.  I like to work on myself, find the things that make my heart and soul happy, and do those things, believe those things, think those things, etc.

If you want to get to know me a little more, just stick around, I promise, we'll get to good stuff.  There's a lot that happens in my crazy life, and the funny thing is, most of the time, I think my life is boring, until I look back on something and think "Dang girl!  You done gone through a lot!"  Oh, that's another thing, I'm not from the south, but I do so y'all and other southern euphemisms sometimes, deal with it!  So!  Final note of who I am, I'll give you a smidgeon more, this is from my Instagram bio, I love Halloween(though Thanksgiving might be edging it out), and fall.  I am a Starbucks-aholic, no joke!  I need help.  Anyone that remotely knows ANYTHING about me knows that my love for Starbucks is never ending lol.  Also, I'm a gypsy/warrior soul.  I have my hippie tendencies, but I'm definitely not a hippie like you're probably thinking.  I don't wear crazy clothes or live on a commune, nothing like that!  But I do like green products, I try to buy organic, I like to buy cruelty free, etc.  Now, the warrior soul part of that, well, that's more personal.  I'm a warrior folks.  I've gone through a lot, a lot of it self inflicted, but I fight my way out every time. So, I consider myself a warrior, and when I feel comfortable, I'll open up more on that.  Also, I'm a huge soccer fan, national team and MLS.  DO NOT talk to me about football, nuh uh, this is a FUTBOL zone, not football.  I don't care about anything NFL.  Also, random segue, but speaking of futbol, I have a wicked good British accent, hehe.  People say it's creepy when I do it because it legitimately sounds like I've lived in England my whole life.

So, that's about all for now.  This was just to say hey, introduce myself, and yeah!  We'll get to know each other better later!  So for now, I'll wish you the most pleasant of evenings, or mornings, whatever you're on, and until next time...

xoxo
Kayla
Kona
etc.
:)