I hope today finds you well! I just wanted to stop in before I head to work and impart some thoughts with all of you. So, I read a quote this morning that said "small minds can't comprehend big spirits. To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood." That's something that really resonates within me. I have made a lot of choices in the last year or so that people don't understand. I've made decisions that have caused people to view me differently. I've changed, and some of the people that never really knew me to begin with, feel as though I've become someone worthy of their hate. Let me tell you, I have not once, not for one millisecond, doubted the actions I've taken. I know that I am a difficult person to love. I have a BIG spirit. I'm not an easy person to figure out, and I know there are plenty of people with similar personalities to mine out there, and I want you to know, you're not alone. Though people may criticize you, tell you to calm down, tell you to not make so many waves, let me assure you, the moon makes waves all the time, it's okay for you to do the same. A quote that I quite like says "she was never crazy. She just didn't let her heart settle in a cage. She was born wild, and sometimes we need people like her. For it's the horrors in her heart which cause the flames in ours. And she was always willing to burn for everything she has ever loved." Now, if you're like me, this quote will resonate with you. It takes a special person to understand our big spirits.
Now, I'm not saying I think I'm some great person, but what I do think is that I am making myself the greatest version of myself possible. So, there have been some growing pains as I've come into my own. People have taken shots at me because they thought I would tolerate it, like I used to. People have told me that I'm a terrible person that's going to wind up old and alone, as though that's something I'm not already keenly aware of. People have walked away, because they can't understand my actions. Let me tell you, I don't mind. To those that took shots at me, I just cut them from my life. I didn't need to get up on a soapbox and tell them how wrong they were, because that gives them power, that encourages them. I just cut them out. To those that told me what a terrible person I was, I cut them from my life as well. Again, I didn't need to try and explain myself, because whatever I said was going to be taken far differently than it was intended. And for those that walked away, I held the door open for them and promptly locked it after they left. If you're struggling with people that don't get you, people that mock you, people that hate you, let them go. You don't need that kind of energy in your life. I understand that sometimes it's hard. But believe me, living on eggshells, feeling like you don't measure up, wondering if you're going to accidentally say something wrong, that's not a way to live. The people that truly know you and love you will know and love the real you. You don't need to impress anyone. You don't need to make anyone like you.
I know it's hard to think how cutting people from your life will make things better, because that seems like a selfish and very extreme measure to take. Let me assure you, it's not. Ever heard the quote, "your vibe attracts your tribe"? The way you present yourself, the real, honest you, will help you find people that are similar to you. You don't need or want people that are going to belittle you. Let them go. Get out there and find people with similar mentalities and attitudes. Find people that understand your thoughts, that hurt for your pains, that appreciate your joys. Those are the people you want in your life. Believe in yourself. Have confidence. Know that you are special. You are unique. You are one in a million. If you believe that, you'll stop letting people walk all over you, because you'll know you deserve better. I have taken to the quote that says "I know what I bring to the table...so trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone." When people tried to tell me that I'd end up alone and miserable, my first thought was, tell me something I don't know. But, I don't mind eating alone if I have to. All that it means is that I haven't found my tribe yet. Don't be afraid to be different. People don't remember people that are carbon copies of everyone else. People remember and love the people that are different. Don't be a carbon copy. Don't settle. Don't let people sit at your table if they're not really there for you. It's about quality, not quantity. Have a precious few people in your life that love you and understand you. Don't feel like you need to build a longer table to accommodate everyone. And most importantly, don't take any of the crap that people give you personally! Nothing that they say or do is actually about you. It's all because of how they view their lives, their dreams, their passions. So, when people tell you you're too this or too that, it's because they can't comprehend it. They could never be that way, so naturally they think no one else could be that way. Again, don't be a carbon copy. Don't let them tell you what you can and can't do. Those people that took cheap shots, it's because they thought I was a joke, because I believed in things they couldn't imagine happening. Those people that told me what a horrid person I was, it's because they couldn't see the value in me loving myself and respecting myself enough to say I didn't need/deserve people in my life that could think I was such a bad person. Those people that walked away, they couldn't understand how I could live my life the way I do, because I color outside the lines. So no, not for one second do I rethink my decision. Absolutely not.
My life is so much more peaceful now. I like myself, I'm finding people that like me for who I am, not who I can pretend to be. Have the courage and the confidence to step outside the box. Step out into the sunlight. Let that wild heart, that big spirit, that yearning soul, free. Be you. Be dangerously and courageously you. If people don't like it, let them go. You can't soar if you're weighed down with the opinions of people that don't matter. And if you need a confidence boost, this is what I tell people when they ask how I'm not affected by the thoughts and opinions others have of me, it's a quote by Coco Chanel: "I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all." That's how. That's how I "get by", that's how I "sleep at night." I have enough self worth to know that the people that don't love and care about me, don't matter. So, if you're a big spirit, step up! Be you! Be great, because you are! You just hide behind mediocre because that's all you know. Don't be mediocre. Be great. Get out there. Do amazing things. Be you. You can do it. Make today the first day of the rest of your life. Make it the day you decide your self worth is more important than other people's opinions and trivialities. You are worth it.
xoxo,
Kona
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