In Case You Haven't Heard...

Hello Lovelies ,

I hope you're all having a good Tuesday, I can't believe it's Tuesday already! But I just wanted to say, in case you haven't heard, drum roll please....I am a published (granted that's self-published, but still) author!  My novel, Decision is officially for sale!  That's right, head on over to the Lulu landing page to pick up your copy today!  I'm about half-way through Return, the second book, so if you like Decision, there is a book two on its way!  I've left the introductory chapter to Return on my other blog, Rawles Writings, so that once you finish Decision, you can have a taste of what book two, Return, will offer.  But for now, I'll leave you with a bit of chapter one from Decision; just to whet your appetite and show you what you're missing by not having this book in your life.

Thank you all of my loyal readers for your support, without further ado, Chapter One of Decision:

Djazyra looked up from her notepad and thought, is it possible for any more rain to fall?  It was almost Christmas and a large storm was passing through the small town of Grand Sierra, dumping inch after inch of cold wet winter down.  The whole town was on flood advisory, and everyone was trying to stay in and wrap up gifts.  Lucky me, thought Djazyra as she began to write again, desperately trying to finish her winter break homework so she could fully enjoy the holidays with all of her friends and family around.  She was easily startled when she unexpectedly heard the squeak of the floorboards outside of her room.

“Jaz, I knew I could find you here.  You look like you could use a break.” Lucas near whispered while leaning casually against her door.  Just looking at him, Djazyra felt her mouth go dry and her heart started doing flips in her chest.  As Djazyra’s closest friend and confidant, she spent plenty of time with Lucas; though he had always pushed that perhaps they could be more than just friends.  Djazyra was a few years late in finding out that she wanted to be more than friends as well. 

He was handsome, in every way, though she felt guilty for just the thought.  He was tall and well-built from playing baseball.  How he got his abs to be in such good shape was still a mystery to her, but a mystery she didn’t object to.  His black hair was cropped close to his head, but on top, he allowed it to grow so he could spike it in just a way that made her want to run her fingers through it.  His piercing blue eyes caught her off guard every time.  The way Lucas looked at her, it was like he was taking her all in, and able to see into her soul, something no one else could do.  She couldn’t look away from those eyes, at least not without effort.  The growing smile on his face as he casually leaned in the doorway was giving her goose bumps.  He looked so casual, so at home, standing in her doorway, it was hard to concentrate on anything.  It was getting harder for her to remember why she kept pushing him away.  Every time she thought maybe she would make a move and finally show her emotions, the ones Lucas so obviously wore on his sleeve, she remembered why she couldn’t; Misty.  

Remembering that Lucas was standing in the doorway smiling at her with his strong arms crossed in front of his chest, Djazyra finally found her words.  “Hi, I could definitely go for a break!  This assignment is making me want to rip my hair out, it’s never ending!  I think Professor Adams has it out for everyone, and by giving us this assignment, no one can enjoy the holidays.”  As she spoke, Lucas casually crossed the room until he was standing within inches of her, looking down at her assignment.  Just having him so close, she yearned to reach out and be able to touch him.  But just as quickly as the urge came on, so did the thought of Misty.

Misty was her friend, her closest friend, other than Lucas of course, and Misty did not approve of anyone dating her childhood neighbor/“adopted brother.”  Apparently Lucas had been a bit of a troublemaker when growing up, and had since had a bit of bad-luck in the girlfriend department.  Misty loved Lucas like a brother, and was protecting him by saying that he needed a year cleanse after getting his heart broken by his last girlfriend.  The only problem was Misty didn’t see the way that Lucas looked at Djazyra, and the way that Djazyra was beginning to look at Lucas.  But when your best friend says she plans to squash any possible romance coming Lucas’ direction, it's hard to feel you can make it. 

“Yeah, that does look pretty intense, so what do you say we take a coffee break, and maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll help you when we get back.  The holidays just aren’t the same with you cooped up in this room pouring over history books.”  As Lucas spoke, he gently put his hand on her back and bent down to close her books.  Just that movement sent chills everywhere.  He was touching her in such an innocent way, but for her, it was so much more.  His face was so close to hers, she could smell his cologne.  His musky/woodsy smell would always remind her of him, and was now her favorite scent.  It was intoxicating for her; she wanted to lean into his chest and slowly move up to find those lips that always tempted her so.  Though just as she started to involuntarily move towards the smell that meant home to her, he moved away, and a part of her felt like she had just stepped out into the downpour outside for how quickly the air lost its charge of electricity. 

“Oh, yeah, that sounds great.  I could go for some coffee, especially with this crazy weather!”  Djazyra said as she stood up and closed the rest of her books.  She found herself standing eye level with Lucas’ chest, mere inches between them.  Before she could stop herself, she reached out and put her hand on his arm, sending sparks to her heart.  When she looked up at Lucas, she saw a different kind of smile playing on his lips and in his eyes.  Djazyra quickly turned away and walked to grab her purse, knowing if she stood there for a second longer looking into his eyes, something would happen that would change their friendship.

  “So, who’s driving, me or you?  If I’m honest, with this weather, I’d prefer you.”  Djazyra spoke with a laugh while turning to look at Lucas, who hadn’t moved.  She found him standing there looking at her with a smile that was turning her insides to jelly.  He started slowly crossing the room towards her, and stopped within inches of her.

“I’ll drive.  And you know,” he said as he leaned even closer to whisper into her ear, “Eventually, you’re going to give in.”  Straightening as he spoke, he now began to strut out of her room and spoke in a normal voice while dangling his keys from his fingers, “I’m pretty impossible to resist.”

Djazyra wanted to throw some witty comeback at him, but Lucas had a way of making her come unhinged, and the worst part was; he was right.  She couldn’t keep telling herself there was nothing between her and Lucas, the fact that she got butterflies at the thought of him were proof of that.  She quickly scrambled to grab her things and made a dash after him.  Coming down the stairs, she saw he was already at her front door, and upon seeing her, he slightly opened the door. 

“Hey, Mom, I’m going out to grab some coffee, I’ll be back in a bit!”  Djazyra hollered into the depths of the house hoping her mom would hear her.

“Okay, honey, just be back by dinner!”  Her mom yelled back from the kitchen, “And Lucas, you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner too!  Oh, and Gabriel can come too!” 

“Thank you, ma’am, I appreciate that.  That is very kind of you to offer, I’ll certainly let Gabe know.”  Lucas spoke in his normal voice, but they both knew it would carry to the kitchen.  With that, Lucas pulled the door open and gestured for Djazyra to exit first. 

Gabriel was Lucas’ younger brother, and though they fought constantly, they were the only family they had.  They had some serious competition between the two of them, but at the end of the day, they loved each other and were there for each other no matter what.  Djazyra knew that either one would take a bullet for the other without blinking an eye, they were just that close. 

Gabriel looked similar to Lucas, not quite as tall, but more muscular than Lucas was.  You could tell that Gabriel spent time at a gym, whereas, Lucas just looked fit.  Gabriel had green eyes, that had sparks of yellow coming from the center, and Djazyra found them beautiful, in a different way than Lucas’ blue eyes.  Gabriel had dark brown hair that he kept cut close, and he always looked as though he had stepped out of a men’s clothing catalogue.  His clothes fit his body in a way that showed off how much time he spent making himself drool worthy.  No girl could argue that Gabriel wasn’t easy on the eyes, he looked good, and he knew it.  He also had an attitude about him that screamed of course I’m amazing, have you seen me?  And though typically that type of confidence did nothing but annoy Djazyra, in Gabriel, it was different. 

He was confident, but not cocky, and he used his quick sense of humor to diffuse situations and to rope in people he wanted to talk to.  Somehow he managed to make men want to be him, and women want to be with him.  It was something only Gabriel could do.  Yet, as Djazyra had gotten to know Gabriel, she learned that everything he showed people was only a front to the deep pain he held inside.  Gabriel’s soul was wounded, and in an effort to keep people from figuring it out and causing him more pain, he put on a confident and comedic face. But there were times that Djazyra caught a glimpse of the real Gabriel, and when she did, she could almost feel her heart breaking from seeing the devastation that lay beneath the otherwise perfect exterior. 

Their parents had died in a car crash thirteen years ago, on Christmas Eve, so Djazyra knew that this time of year was hard for them, but Gabriel was especially different every year around the holidays.   Lucas didn’t really talk it about it, and didn’t show that it affected him, though he did put his parent’s anniversary ornament on the tree, and put out his mom’s favorite decorations each year.  Gabriel on the other hand, became quiet, and moody; being mad at the world one minute and then completely quiet, with hollow eyes, another.   Gabriel had only been ten years old, old enough to remember his parents, but not old enough to be able to compartmentalize everything that had happened and how his world had changed.  Lucas had been thirteen, and being the older brother, shoved his own feelings aside and took care of Gabriel as best he could.  They had been put into the foster system, though never adopted, just moving around from house to house, until Lucas had turned eighteen and gotten a car and a small apartment, and then made room for Gabriel to join him when Gabriel turned eighteen. 

Their life hadn’t been easy, but it was what made them so close, and they leaned on each other constantly, knowing that the other would be there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear, whatever the other needed.  It was through that bond that Djazyra had really begun to see both Lucas and Gabriel, to see them for who they were, not just what they presented themselves to be.  It was why she loved them.  And that was also why she was having a hard time admitting she wanted to be with Lucas.  She knew him in a way that Misty never would.  Misty had been the brothers' neighbor until the accident, but after the accident, though they kept in touch, it wasn’t until Gabriel had turned eighteen that they had begun to really rekindle their friendship.  At one point the three of them all shared an apartment, but once Misty had gotten serious with her boyfriend Jack, things began to deteriorate again.  Jack didn’t approve of his girlfriend sharing an apartment with two guys, though she swore they were like her brothers.  It took Misty moving out from the apartment with Lucas and Gabriel, and into an apartment with Jack, that things finally settled. 

Djazyra came into the picture once Misty and Jack had moved in together.  Djazyra met Misty during psychology at the local college, and immediately hit things off.  At that point things had cooled off in the Jack-Lucas-Gabriel triangle, and all were friends, though Jack and Lucas always seemed to have a bit of a wall up between them.  Misty had invited Djazyra over at the end of the semester for a “school’s out” party and that was when Djazyra had met everyone.  There were so many people that Djazyra was overwhelmed and had spent a fair amount of time hidden away in a corner.  Lucas was there, and he took up residence of her little hole in the wall.  Neither of them were really itching to drink too much and make fools of themselves, unlike Gabriel, who had made himself the center of attention.  Lucas had been easy to talk to, funny, smart, kind, and most of all endearing.  It was from that party that Djazyra began her friendship with Lucas, while her friendship with Gabriel took months to progress.

Thinking back on their first encounter, Djazyra smiled to herself while sitting in the passenger seat of Lucas’s Jeep.  Lucas had called her the very next day to say he had a good time, and that though he knew she wouldn’t admit it, she was into him.  Djazyra had just laughed, but a part of her knew he was right, she thought he was handsome, and funny, and he felt safe to her.  From there, a friendship had blossomed. 

“What are you sitting over there smiling about?” Lucas broke the silence and brought her back from memory lane.  He glanced over at her with a smile on his own lips.

“Nothing in particular, just thinking about when we met.  We’ve come a long way since then!  Can you believe it’s only been two years since we met, I feel like I’ve known you forever.”  Djazyra said with a laugh.  Everything about Lucas felt safe and familiar to her, even when they had just met. 

Lucas looked at her from the driver’s seat and his blue eyes latched onto her, “It has been only two years, but we’ve come a long way.  And I hope that we have many more years ahead of us.”  He finally looked back to the road, and Djazyra swore she could hear her own heart pounding in her chest.  They drove the rest of the way in silence, only the sound of the windshield wipers clearing the window kept it from being completely still.

They finally parked at the coffee shop and as Djazyra was getting out, Lucas came over to close her door for her.  Djazyra made a mad dash for the overhang so she wouldn’t be soaked, and turned to see Lucas ambling at his own pace, with his smile on his face, up to where she stood. 

“I don’t know that you made it.”  Lucas said smiling, as he walked up beside her under the umbrella of the coffee shop.  Just as Djazyra was about to ask what he meant, he shook his hood out and water splattered all over her.  Lucas broke out into laughter, as Djazyra stood frozen in shock.  But then, she too started laughing, and just as she closed her eyes, because she felt she might cry from laughing so hard, she felt Lucas pull her into his arms.  

The feel of Lucas pulling her into his warm embrace made Djazyra melt, and she felt her heart start to do flips in her chest.  As she became closer to his chest, the laughter subsided, and she wrapped her own arms around him.  Feeling him holding her while standing out in the pouring rain, she didn’t know how much longer she could pretend there was nothing between them.  She could feel his stubble in her hair and his strong back in her hands.  He held her shoulders and very gently pulled her back so he could look her in the eye.  He reached out and slowly wiped away a rain drop that had begun to fall from her hair.  He then traced his hand down her face and rested the side of her face in his palm. 

Djazyra wasn’t cold anymore, in fact she was feeling unseasonably warm, and every fiber of her being told her she needed to tell him she couldn’t do this anymore.  Tell him that she might be in love with him, and that she didn’t care if it ruined her friendship with Misty; then reach up and kiss him in the pouring rain.  But just as she was about to open her mouth, someone opened the door to the coffee shop and Lucas pulled away to hold the door for them.  Djazyra shook her head to clear her mind and walked inside to the warmth and delicious smell of baked goods.