Tuesday, August 28, 2018

5 ways to improve your life TODAY

Hello Lovelies,

Welcome back!  I hope you're ready, because I'm going to give you a crash course of super basic things to implement into your every day, starting today, that will lead to a happier, healthier you!  Now, before we get started, I need you to promise me this-repeat after me:

I will not say "I can't do that" or make excuses.  I am here because I want to change my life for the better.  I will give these steps due process and genuinely put forth the effort to implement them.

Okay?  You promise?  Pinky promise?  Let me tell you, beautiful, this isn't one of those things that I can tell you what to do and you're magically better.  You get out what you put in.  So you've got to put in your effort, give it your genuine heartfelt intention, and then, and only then, will you see improvement. 

I promise, I've got your hand, we're taking baby steps here, I won't ask you to do anything unreasonable here!  And as always, do what you can with what you have.  Alright, without further ado, let's dig in!



Step 1- Since we adults spend an average of two hours a day on social media, our first step:

Unfollow or block people that make you feel less than on social media.

Stop thinking you have to follow, like, and comment every time someone posts about their dinner or their kid or their vacation, or anything else for that matter.  If when you scroll by you feel anything negative, nix it!  That simple!  Don't offer excuses, this is for your mental well-being, and at the end of the day, that ball is in your court.  You owe no one else an apology or an explanation.  You do what you gotta do sister!  Oh, and whatever you do, NEVER read the comments...anywhere.  They're never good, most always negative.  Just do yourself the favor, don't give them your time or attention.  The goal here is to insulate your life from negativity, a key element for future happiness.

See him?  He's cleaning up his social media feed.  Positive vibes only!


Step 2- Do follow people that inspire you, follow hashtags of things that inspire you or make you happy!

Think outside the box, but insulate your feed with things that lift you up instead of draining you.  If you like cat memes, cat meme it up!  If you like ballet, follow ballet houses, follow ballerinas, follow local art scenes, etc.  It doesn't matter what it is, this is YOUR social media feed, let it grow YOU.  Don't let it just be some arbitrary status you think you have to maintain.  Let your feed become a manifestation of you.  When someone scrolls through your social media feed, they should be able to clearly see your interests and hobbies, things that motivate you, and things that inspire you...if you just follow celebrities, family, or old classmates, maybe think about changing that up.  After all, some of those people might be helping you grow, but you need more than the expected friends and family to really flush out your feed to give you soul food every time you open your preferred app.



Step 3- Take 5 minutes to stop and write out the following:

Things that make you happy
Things you do every day

Compare the lists...adjust accordingly.

You need to find some bit of joy every day or you'll go CRAZY!  So, make those lists and once you have at least one thing you enjoy doing on your list of what you do everyday, stick with it.  Let your soul rest at least once a day while you do something just for you.  And you don't have to shoot for the moon here.  Do you like painting?  Spend 10-30 minutes painting a few days a week.  Do you like reading, spend 10-30 minutes reading the other days of the week!  We're not reinventing the wheel here folks.  The goal is simple: add to your pile of good things.  We aren't trying to make this step your complete guide to happiness, hence why there's more than just this on the list. All we are doing is adding little bits of joy to our day.



Step 4- Get moving!

I know, everyone hates seeing this one, but everyone tells you to do it for a reason!  Get outside, get fresh air, get unplugged from the constant deluge of information we receive.  Turn off the TV!  If nothing else, unplugging alone will help you feel better, but getting up and actually moving your body, even better!  Now, before you freak out, I'm not saying go run a marathon.  Be reasonable with yourself, you know what you can handle and what would be sufficient for you.  Take 15 minutes and just go be in nature.  Take a walk, an amble, even.  Don't have your headphones in, tempting though it may be, just get out there and really see nature, experience it.

I live in Arizona, so I know it's not always delightful to take a walk when it's 110 outside, and if that's the case, do some basic yoga or stretching at home, but maybe try to have the window open or at least have the blinds open to fake your brain into thinking you're getting a nature fix.  You have your phone either in your hand or nearby, Google some beginner yoga poses, yin yoga even, and just stretch your body.  Show your body some love.  I'm not saying you need to break a sweat, I'm just saying don't just sit around.

Per the US Dept of Health and Human Services, less than 5% of adults participate in 30 minutes of physical exercise each day...and only one in three gets the recommended amount of physical activity each week!  What!?  You have this amazing body that is how you're capable of all the things you're capable of, don't forget to use it for more than sitting in the car, then sitting at work, then sitting on the couch.  Let it move, let it breathe.  I promise, it doesn't have to be running or going to the gym, just move, however you like!  Ballroom dancing, kayaking, rock climbing, the options are endless!



Step 5- Lastly, do something self-indulgent.

You've already done four steps of indulgence, but give yourself one more.  Treat yourself to something, an act of self care, no matter what that may be.  It may be taking a bath, when you normally do a shower.  Maybe you get your nails done, rather than doing them at home.  Heck, maybe you go to the grocery store and buy yourself that Ben and Jerry's that you've been eyeing, but know you don't need.  You've made huge progress already, cutting out toxicity, replacing it with inspiration, you've taken a look at how to incorporate happiness into your everyday life, and you did some exercise...if all of that doesn't say you deserve some form of praise, some internal high-five, I don't know what does!  

And here's the deal, lovely reader, you are in control here.  If you notice yourself giving energy to things that don't serve you, gently redirect yourself to something that does.  You have that power!  We live in this amazing age where the world is literally at our fingertips, but we spend it getting riled up and therefore feeling small and brittle.  Don't fall for the trap that says you need to live angry and hurt and less-than.  You do NOT need to keep up with the Jones's.  You do you, sweetheart!  Understand and embrace that you and the Jones's are different people and what floats their boat, probably doesn't float yours.  And that's awesome, because how boring would it be if it did?  I mean really, why do we always get creeped out by those perfect Utopia movies, where everyone is the same, yet still try and follow that exact recipe in our daily lives?  Break the mold!  Get out there, chase your dreams, embrace your hobbies, and understand that people are beautiful and flawed and crazy!  But that's what makes it wonderful.



You can choose how extreme you need to go with these five steps, and whatever you choose is fine. I've blocked everyone on social media and started from scratch before, because that's what I needed at the time.  And I've followed different things for different stages of my life.  That moody Instagram I was super into five years ago, yeah, that's not doing so much for me anymore.  But the astrology memes account I recently found, oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!  You aren't stagnant, you're going to change, with your life, and in spite of it.  That's okay. In the words of Bruce Lee: "The idea is that flowing water never goes stale, you just keep on flowing."  Don't let yourself become so stuck somewhere that you don't see that you're stuck.  Allow yourself to ebb and flow with life.

At the end of the day, you're taking care of yourself just by being here.  You've taken the first step. Now let's see you implement these steps, and watch how your life changes!

Bonus step for getting all the way through, for really showing you intend to change your life, now!

Take the TV out of your bedroom.

I know, I know!  I've heard the rebuttals before, I know in our crazy society the mere thought of taking a TV out of your home is...shocking!  But!  Hear me out!  You promised you'd give these steps your best!  At least give this one a try.  So, the reason I say this, the NY Times reports that adults watch an average of 5 hours of TV every day! And sleep.org says: "You might feel like you can fall asleep just fine after your show wraps up, but your sleep can still be affected. The blue light exposure can delay the onset of REM sleep and lead to morning drowsiness. In other words, even if you think that you’re sleeping fine, you might not be getting the quality sleep that you need."

I will tell you, I fought against this step for awhile, probably a few years before it actually happened, since my husband had to be on board too.  But now, I don't even notice that it's gone.  I don't feel like I'm missing out.  I just wake up feeling more rested.  And if you're wondering, well, what do you do in your evenings then?  The answer is simple, nothing!  I lay in bed and let the day run through my brain, trying to focus on the good parts.  There's a full article here by Barb Schmidt about how to get started on this practice of reflection.  But for a quick intro, here's an idea of what we're talking about:

"Reflection is our final exercise of the day. This is when we scan our day and “officially” let go of everything that happened in the day—all the ups and downs—so that we can wake up the next morning in the new day without attachments or regrets over what happened the day before. Without yesterday’s worries and stresses weighing us down, we can begin a new day with a peaceful mind and heart.



But if that doesn't sound appealing to you, what are some things you can try?  Trying reading a paper book-not an e-book!  Just make sure you have the self-control to not stay up all night to finish it...as I've been known to do on occasion.  Try journaling, even if it's just about the new song you heard today, or the beautiful sunset you saw, or the fact that the PSL came out today (yay!)- try making a journal to mark where you are and what sets your heart on fire, right now.  Chat with your partner, chat with your dog, or cat.  And absolute last resort, if you need to watch those favorite TV shows, try recording them and watching them earlier in the evening the following day.  I promise, whatever you choose, you'll feel better!  There are some days I don't watch TV at all, others that I watch two episodes or a movie, but that's all.  As always, be reasonable with yourself!  You don't have to go cold turkey, just moderate your consumption.

Well, lovelies, that's all for now!  I hope you start implementing these tips today, and I promise you'll see your life improve.  And this is just to start, feel free to go more "radical" as you do these daily!  Maybe you start walking around the neighborhood for half an hour each day.  Maybe you start watching only show per day.  Maybe you delete your main social media app from your phone so you're forced to be less active.  Maybe you start going to bed earlier.  Maybe you take a retreat to really indulge in self care.  Whatever it may be, you do you!  Only you can say what you need, but I promise, the more you insulate your world from negativity, shower it with positive vibes, build bits of joy into your daily routine, exercise, and care for yourself, you'll find yourself moving through life with a bit more ease, with a bit more joy, with a more grateful heart.  And maybe, just maybe, you'll find yourself happier more often.  Maybe you'll find your life is just a teensy bit better than it was before you started this list.



Best of luck loves!  Let me know what you think in the comments-though try not to be negative!  What was your favorite step to implement, what was the hardest, do you notice an improvement?


Xoxo
Kayla

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

New Look!

Hey Lovelies,

Yes, you are in the right spot, we just got a little bit of a makeover!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Quiet Evenings

Hello Lovelies,

Today I'd like to share a poem by yours truly.  Please be kind, but I hope you enjoy it enough that cruelty is the last thing on your mind.  This is based on having watched a few episodes of the show Z: The Beginning of Everything by Amazon.  I hope you'll enjoy my interpretation of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald, and my love of the beauty of the South.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

I am not my depression

Hello Lovelies,

I know it's been awhile, but I was feeling the need to write this evening, and since you have proved to be a receptive audience, I figured why not start here.  So, time for the big, scary, I can't believe I'm going to admit this, statement: I have recently been diagnosed with major depression.  Now, you may be thinking, wow that's such a personal thing, why is she sharing that here, for any random person to read?  Well, the honest truth, because I feel that you can't overcome your demons by fighting them in the shadows.  You need to bare your demons for all the light to shine on and expose their weaknesses.  So that's what I'm doing: baring my issues so that I can fight them, and also, hopefully, giving hope to others that others struggle with them.

So, what is major depression?  Per WebMD:
     Most people feel sad or low at some point in their lives. But clinical depression is marked by a depressed      mood most of the day, sometimes particularly in the morning, and a loss of interest in normal activities and      relationships -- symptoms that are present every day for at least 2 weeks. In addition, according to the          DSM-5 -- a manual used to diagnose mental health conditions -- you may have other symptoms with            major depression. Those symptoms might include:
  •           Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
  •           Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
  •           Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
  •           Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
  •           Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this  symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others)
  •           Restlessness or feeling slowed down
  •           Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
  •           Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)
So, that's the nitty-gritty of it.  I live in a cyclical state of depression.  So, what that means is that I have about a two week period where I feel like I am floating along, just along the surface, never able to break through into happiness.  In the words of Sabrina Benaim, a young poet that wrote a moving piece on explaining her depression to her mother, "I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness that I cannot baptize myself in."  Now, within those two weeks, somewhere, I have what I call the "bad days".  Those are the days that I can hardly get out of bed.  Those are the days that I can hardly drive myself to work without having a breakdown on the way there about how worthless I am.  Those are the days that I can hardly bring myself to take my pup out for a walk after work.  Those are the days that I can hardly bring myself to eat anything.  Those are the days that I can hardly talk because I am always one conversation away from breaking down.  Then, after my two-three days of bad days, I go back to the surface bobbing regular depression, for the remaining two weeks.  Once those two weeks or so are up, I may have a good day or two, but then it all starts again, and I go back to the surface bobbing, only to eventually be caught back up in a bad day, and the cycle goes on.


This is my reality.  It is my reality that I can no longer fall asleep, or stay asleep, like I used to.  It is my reality that I become so disinterested in food that I make myself physically ill because of lack of sustenance.  It is my reality that I become so anxious about my every move at home and work that I can hardly make a decision.  It is my reality that I feel that my friends and family would be better off without me because I am so screwed up.

That, that lovely little version of hell, that is where I live.  Now, if you've made it this far, words cannot express how thankful I am that you've stuck it out.  I know first hand that most people, upon hearing the word 'depression', automatically go to a place of indifference.  So, if you're still with me, I appreciate you!  Now, onto the important part.  I'm presently in therapy, and my therapist said to me today, "What if, just maybe, we think of it this way: what if you are not your depression?  What if you are not the problem?  What if we externalize it, and we say that the depression is the problem?  Because you can be amazing, but with depression, that doesn't come out.  That doesn't mean you're not still amazing, it just means that you don't show it, because you're living with this enormous weight of a problem."  So, hence why I say, I am not my depression.  I am not the problem.  My depression is the problem.  I am not having troubles sleeping, my depression is making it extraordinarily difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep.  I am not unhealthy, with my lack of eating, my depression is sapping my desire for food, thereby making food unappealing.  I am not an anxious person that becomes paralyzed by the simple question, "What do you want for dinner?"  My depression is the one pushing all of these buttons.

Now, I am in therapy because I am working to take back control and get off of this oh so lovely hamster wheel and find a way to manage my depression.  So, when my therapist said that I am not the problem, that my depression is the problem, it was an ah-ha moment.  It isn't me that needs fixing, it's the depression.  And that, I can do.  And it's not that I have all of these individual problems, it's that I have symptoms of a much larger problem, so if we can start addressing each of those symptoms individually, it will help the overall problem to go away.  It's really basic medical science when you think about it.  Yet, somehow, I had never considered it before.  I am not my depression.  I am not a problem.



So, you may be wondering, what's the point of all of this, what are we supposed to get out of this?  Well, the short answer is this: please, learn how to interact with people who suffer from depression.  I interact with those closest to me, and I tell them when I'm having a bad day, and I get told to just try and be happy.  "If you just try and think happier thoughts, that'll at least help."  ...do you hear those crickets?  I sure do.  Let me let you in on a little secret, thinking happy thoughts does NOT work.  Depression is about more than that.  I equate it to talking to your friend about how much your leg hurts.  You tell them how some days it's excruciating and some days it's just sore, but the discomfort, it's always there.  How many of your friends would say, go see a doctor?  Or, get that taken care of?  Most of them, right?  Now, when you sub that physical pain that seems tangible for a mental pain, it suddenly becomes an easy fix...think happy thoughts, go out with your friends, you're just being dramatic, everyone has those problems, etc.  Since when did this become an acceptable response?  And better yet, HOW is this an acceptable response?

Maybe you know the quote that says "dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude."  That's courtesy of Anne Frank.  It's true.  People will be quick to pass the buck when it comes to you talking about your depression with them, but whenever you go to a funeral of someone that committed suicide, it suddenly becomes a serious issue that people will openly discuss.  I'm sorry, I don't want to have to be suicidal in order to have people there for me while I'm facing down demons no one else can see.  I want support so that I don't become suicidal.  

So, the point of this, don't forget to be grateful for those you love, whether they're dealing with something you understand or not.  If you know someone dealing with depression, do NOT, and I mean NEVER, tell them to just get over it, or just think happy thoughts.  Tell them you're there for them.  Don't offer advice on how to get through it, just let them talk.  See what they tell you, and maybe offer gentle guidance that aligns with the queues they're giving you about how they feel.  That person that's suffering from depression, they just want help.  They want to get off of the depression bandwagon, I promise you.  They want an understanding shoulder to cry on.  They want someone to hear their silent cries.  They want support for during their darkest days, and every day in between.  Just be there.  Don't judge.  Don't critique.  Don't offer unsolicited advice.  And don't act as though you understand unless you've lived with depression yourself.  Using the leg pain analogy, you wouldn't want to tell your friend about how much your leg is bugging you, and then have them pretend to be a doctor, offering their "expertise".  No, you want them to encourage you to go to a doctor and get help.  You want them to help you and support you when it comes to those activities that you can no longer do at full capacity because your leg doesn't allow you to anymore.  You want them to be understanding and empathetic.


So, last but not least.  If you or a loved one are battling depression, please know, you/they are not the problem.  The depression is the problem.  Things will get better, but you/they can't do this alone.  You/they can get through this.  I believe in you; both you, if you're suffering from depression, and you that is trying to be a better friend to someone fighting depression.  You can do this.

Until next time, sending love and light and all things bright,
xoxo,

Kayla

Friday, October 28, 2016

Evening Memories

Hello Lovelies,

I have something a little personal to share with you all today.  I lost my best friend in 2006, and I have long since struggled with losing him.  Today, I'd like to share a quick poem that I wrote a year or so ago about him.  I understand that this isn't the cheery stuff I try to keep going on here, but we all have our quiet days, and right now...well, I just feel like honoring him with this.  And it's better to let it out than try and keep it hidden away where it eats at you.  So, please, be kind and respectful of the fact that this is my work, my words, my very mangled heart on a page.  

Saturday, October 22, 2016

New Home!

Hello Lovelies,



Hello from Vancouver, Washington!  That's right, we've moved...again lol.  I'm telling you guys, we move all the time, our life is never boring haha.  We just don't want to get too settled and slip into mediocrity, or something like that!  But, I wanted to take a moment to say hello and wish everyone a happy fall!  October has become my favorite month(though previously it was September, so it's not like it's really changed); I think because fall really takes a hold and the holidays begin.  As you can see below, Vancouver does fall right :)

Keep It Simple-A Guide to the Holiday Season

Hello Lovelies, I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving- maybe even watched one of my recommended Thanksgiving movies...hmm?  Okay, y...