Welcome back! I hope you're ready, because I'm going to give you a crash course of super basic things to implement into your every day, starting today, that will lead to a happier, healthier you! Now, before we get started, I need you to promise me this-repeat after me:
I will not say "I can't do that" or make excuses. I am here because I want to change my life for the better. I will give these steps due process and genuinely put forth the effort to implement them.
Okay? You promise? Pinky promise? Let me tell you, beautiful, this isn't one of those things that I can tell you what to do and you're magically better. You get out what you put in. So you've got to put in your effort, give it your genuine heartfelt intention, and then, and only then, will you see improvement.
I promise, I've got your hand, we're taking baby steps here, I won't ask you to do anything unreasonable here! And as always, do what you can with what you have. Alright, without further ado, let's dig in!
Step 1- Since we adults spend an average of two hours a day on social media, our first step:
Unfollow or block people that make you feel less than on social media.
Stop thinking you have to follow, like, and comment every time someone posts about their dinner or their kid or their vacation, or anything else for that matter. If when you scroll by you feel anything negative, nix it! That simple! Don't offer excuses, this is for your mental well-being, and at the end of the day, that ball is in your court. You owe no one else an apology or an explanation. You do what you gotta do sister! Oh, and whatever you do, NEVER read the comments...anywhere. They're never good, most always negative. Just do yourself the favor, don't give them your time or attention. The goal here is to insulate your life from negativity, a key element for future happiness.
Unfollow or block people that make you feel less than on social media.
Stop thinking you have to follow, like, and comment every time someone posts about their dinner or their kid or their vacation, or anything else for that matter. If when you scroll by you feel anything negative, nix it! That simple! Don't offer excuses, this is for your mental well-being, and at the end of the day, that ball is in your court. You owe no one else an apology or an explanation. You do what you gotta do sister! Oh, and whatever you do, NEVER read the comments...anywhere. They're never good, most always negative. Just do yourself the favor, don't give them your time or attention. The goal here is to insulate your life from negativity, a key element for future happiness.
 |
| See him? He's cleaning up his social media feed. Positive vibes only! |
Step 2- Do follow people that inspire you, follow hashtags of things that inspire you or make you happy!
Think outside the box, but insulate your feed with things that lift you up instead of draining you. If you like cat memes, cat meme it up! If you like ballet, follow ballet houses, follow ballerinas, follow local art scenes, etc. It doesn't matter what it is, this is YOUR social media feed, let it grow YOU. Don't let it just be some arbitrary status you think you have to maintain. Let your feed become a manifestation of you. When someone scrolls through your social media feed, they should be able to clearly see your interests and hobbies, things that motivate you, and things that inspire you...if you just follow celebrities, family, or old classmates, maybe think about changing that up. After all, some of those people might be helping you grow, but you need more than the expected friends and family to really flush out your feed to give you soul food every time you open your preferred app.
Think outside the box, but insulate your feed with things that lift you up instead of draining you. If you like cat memes, cat meme it up! If you like ballet, follow ballet houses, follow ballerinas, follow local art scenes, etc. It doesn't matter what it is, this is YOUR social media feed, let it grow YOU. Don't let it just be some arbitrary status you think you have to maintain. Let your feed become a manifestation of you. When someone scrolls through your social media feed, they should be able to clearly see your interests and hobbies, things that motivate you, and things that inspire you...if you just follow celebrities, family, or old classmates, maybe think about changing that up. After all, some of those people might be helping you grow, but you need more than the expected friends and family to really flush out your feed to give you soul food every time you open your preferred app.
Step 3- Take 5 minutes to stop and write out the following:
Things that make you happy
Things you do every day
Compare the lists...adjust accordingly.
You need to find some bit of joy every day or you'll go CRAZY! So, make those lists and once you have at least one thing you enjoy doing on your list of what you do everyday, stick with it. Let your soul rest at least once a day while you do something just for you. And you don't have to shoot for the moon here. Do you like painting? Spend 10-30 minutes painting a few days a week. Do you like reading, spend 10-30 minutes reading the other days of the week! We're not reinventing the wheel here folks. The goal is simple: add to your pile of good things. We aren't trying to make this step your complete guide to happiness, hence why there's more than just this on the list. All we are doing is adding little bits of joy to our day.
Things that make you happy
Things you do every day
Compare the lists...adjust accordingly.
You need to find some bit of joy every day or you'll go CRAZY! So, make those lists and once you have at least one thing you enjoy doing on your list of what you do everyday, stick with it. Let your soul rest at least once a day while you do something just for you. And you don't have to shoot for the moon here. Do you like painting? Spend 10-30 minutes painting a few days a week. Do you like reading, spend 10-30 minutes reading the other days of the week! We're not reinventing the wheel here folks. The goal is simple: add to your pile of good things. We aren't trying to make this step your complete guide to happiness, hence why there's more than just this on the list. All we are doing is adding little bits of joy to our day.
Step 4- Get moving!
I know, everyone hates seeing this one, but everyone tells you to do it for a reason! Get outside, get fresh air, get unplugged from the constant deluge of information we receive. Turn off the TV! If nothing else, unplugging alone will help you feel better, but getting up and actually moving your body, even better! Now, before you freak out, I'm not saying go run a marathon. Be reasonable with yourself, you know what you can handle and what would be sufficient for you. Take 15 minutes and just go be in nature. Take a walk, an amble, even. Don't have your headphones in, tempting though it may be, just get out there and really see nature, experience it.
I live in Arizona, so I know it's not always delightful to take a walk when it's 110 outside, and if that's the case, do some basic yoga or stretching at home, but maybe try to have the window open or at least have the blinds open to fake your brain into thinking you're getting a nature fix. You have your phone either in your hand or nearby, Google some beginner yoga poses, yin yoga even, and just stretch your body. Show your body some love. I'm not saying you need to break a sweat, I'm just saying don't just sit around.
Per the US Dept of Health and Human Services, less than 5% of adults participate in 30 minutes of physical exercise each day...and only one in three gets the recommended amount of physical activity each week! What!? You have this amazing body that is how you're capable of all the things you're capable of, don't forget to use it for more than sitting in the car, then sitting at work, then sitting on the couch. Let it move, let it breathe. I promise, it doesn't have to be running or going to the gym, just move, however you like! Ballroom dancing, kayaking, rock climbing, the options are endless!
I know, everyone hates seeing this one, but everyone tells you to do it for a reason! Get outside, get fresh air, get unplugged from the constant deluge of information we receive. Turn off the TV! If nothing else, unplugging alone will help you feel better, but getting up and actually moving your body, even better! Now, before you freak out, I'm not saying go run a marathon. Be reasonable with yourself, you know what you can handle and what would be sufficient for you. Take 15 minutes and just go be in nature. Take a walk, an amble, even. Don't have your headphones in, tempting though it may be, just get out there and really see nature, experience it.
I live in Arizona, so I know it's not always delightful to take a walk when it's 110 outside, and if that's the case, do some basic yoga or stretching at home, but maybe try to have the window open or at least have the blinds open to fake your brain into thinking you're getting a nature fix. You have your phone either in your hand or nearby, Google some beginner yoga poses, yin yoga even, and just stretch your body. Show your body some love. I'm not saying you need to break a sweat, I'm just saying don't just sit around.
Per the US Dept of Health and Human Services, less than 5% of adults participate in 30 minutes of physical exercise each day...and only one in three gets the recommended amount of physical activity each week! What!? You have this amazing body that is how you're capable of all the things you're capable of, don't forget to use it for more than sitting in the car, then sitting at work, then sitting on the couch. Let it move, let it breathe. I promise, it doesn't have to be running or going to the gym, just move, however you like! Ballroom dancing, kayaking, rock climbing, the options are endless!
Step 5- Lastly, do something self-indulgent.
You've already done four steps of indulgence, but give yourself one more. Treat yourself to something, an act of self care, no matter what that may be. It may be taking a bath, when you normally do a shower. Maybe you get your nails done, rather than doing them at home. Heck, maybe you go to the grocery store and buy yourself that Ben and Jerry's that you've been eyeing, but know you don't need. You've made huge progress already, cutting out toxicity, replacing it with inspiration, you've taken a look at how to incorporate happiness into your everyday life, and you did some exercise...if all of that doesn't say you deserve some form of praise, some internal high-five, I don't know what does!
You've already done four steps of indulgence, but give yourself one more. Treat yourself to something, an act of self care, no matter what that may be. It may be taking a bath, when you normally do a shower. Maybe you get your nails done, rather than doing them at home. Heck, maybe you go to the grocery store and buy yourself that Ben and Jerry's that you've been eyeing, but know you don't need. You've made huge progress already, cutting out toxicity, replacing it with inspiration, you've taken a look at how to incorporate happiness into your everyday life, and you did some exercise...if all of that doesn't say you deserve some form of praise, some internal high-five, I don't know what does!
And here's the deal, lovely reader, you are in control here. If you notice yourself giving energy to things that don't serve you, gently redirect yourself to something that does. You have that power! We live in this amazing age where the world is literally at our fingertips, but we spend it getting riled up and therefore feeling small and brittle. Don't fall for the trap that says you need to live angry and hurt and less-than. You do NOT need to keep up with the Jones's. You do you, sweetheart! Understand and embrace that you and the Jones's are different people and what floats their boat, probably doesn't float yours. And that's awesome, because how boring would it be if it did? I mean really, why do we always get creeped out by those perfect Utopia movies, where everyone is the same, yet still try and follow that exact recipe in our daily lives? Break the mold! Get out there, chase your dreams, embrace your hobbies, and understand that people are beautiful and flawed and crazy! But that's what makes it wonderful.
You can choose how extreme you need to go with these five steps, and whatever you choose is fine. I've blocked everyone on social media and started from scratch before, because that's what I needed at the time. And I've followed different things for different stages of my life. That moody Instagram I was super into five years ago, yeah, that's not doing so much for me anymore. But the astrology memes account I recently found, oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about! You aren't stagnant, you're going to change, with your life, and in spite of it. That's okay. In the words of Bruce Lee: "The idea is that flowing water never goes stale, you just keep on flowing." Don't let yourself become so stuck somewhere that you don't see that you're stuck. Allow yourself to ebb and flow with life.
At the end of the day, you're taking care of yourself just by being here. You've taken the first step. Now let's see you implement these steps, and watch how your life changes!
Bonus step for getting all the way through, for really showing you intend to change your life, now!
Take the TV out of your bedroom.
I know, I know! I've heard the rebuttals before, I know in our crazy society the mere thought of taking a TV out of your home is...shocking! But! Hear me out! You promised you'd give these steps your best! At least give this one a try. So, the reason I say this, the NY Times reports that adults watch an average of 5 hours of TV every day! And sleep.org says: "You might feel like you can fall asleep just fine after your show wraps up, but your sleep can still be affected. The blue light exposure can delay the onset of REM sleep and lead to morning drowsiness. In other words, even if you think that you’re sleeping fine, you might not be getting the quality sleep that you need."
I will tell you, I fought against this step for awhile, probably a few years before it actually happened, since my husband had to be on board too. But now, I don't even notice that it's gone. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I just wake up feeling more rested. And if you're wondering, well, what do you do in your evenings then? The answer is simple, nothing! I lay in bed and let the day run through my brain, trying to focus on the good parts. There's a full article here by Barb Schmidt about how to get started on this practice of reflection. But for a quick intro, here's an idea of what we're talking about:
"Reflection is our final exercise of the day. This is when we scan our day and “officially” let go of everything that happened in the day—all the ups and downs—so that we can wake up the next morning in the new day without attachments or regrets over what happened the day before. Without yesterday’s worries and stresses weighing us down, we can begin a new day with a peaceful mind and heart.
But if that doesn't sound appealing to you, what are some things you can try? Trying reading a paper book-not an e-book! Just make sure you have the self-control to not stay up all night to finish it...as I've been known to do on occasion. Try journaling, even if it's just about the new song you heard today, or the beautiful sunset you saw, or the fact that the PSL came out today (yay!)- try making a journal to mark where you are and what sets your heart on fire, right now. Chat with your partner, chat with your dog, or cat. And absolute last resort, if you need to watch those favorite TV shows, try recording them and watching them earlier in the evening the following day. I promise, whatever you choose, you'll feel better! There are some days I don't watch TV at all, others that I watch two episodes or a movie, but that's all. As always, be reasonable with yourself! You don't have to go cold turkey, just moderate your consumption.
Take the TV out of your bedroom.
I know, I know! I've heard the rebuttals before, I know in our crazy society the mere thought of taking a TV out of your home is...shocking! But! Hear me out! You promised you'd give these steps your best! At least give this one a try. So, the reason I say this, the NY Times reports that adults watch an average of 5 hours of TV every day! And sleep.org says: "You might feel like you can fall asleep just fine after your show wraps up, but your sleep can still be affected. The blue light exposure can delay the onset of REM sleep and lead to morning drowsiness. In other words, even if you think that you’re sleeping fine, you might not be getting the quality sleep that you need."
I will tell you, I fought against this step for awhile, probably a few years before it actually happened, since my husband had to be on board too. But now, I don't even notice that it's gone. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I just wake up feeling more rested. And if you're wondering, well, what do you do in your evenings then? The answer is simple, nothing! I lay in bed and let the day run through my brain, trying to focus on the good parts. There's a full article here by Barb Schmidt about how to get started on this practice of reflection. But for a quick intro, here's an idea of what we're talking about:
"Reflection is our final exercise of the day. This is when we scan our day and “officially” let go of everything that happened in the day—all the ups and downs—so that we can wake up the next morning in the new day without attachments or regrets over what happened the day before. Without yesterday’s worries and stresses weighing us down, we can begin a new day with a peaceful mind and heart.
But if that doesn't sound appealing to you, what are some things you can try? Trying reading a paper book-not an e-book! Just make sure you have the self-control to not stay up all night to finish it...as I've been known to do on occasion. Try journaling, even if it's just about the new song you heard today, or the beautiful sunset you saw, or the fact that the PSL came out today (yay!)- try making a journal to mark where you are and what sets your heart on fire, right now. Chat with your partner, chat with your dog, or cat. And absolute last resort, if you need to watch those favorite TV shows, try recording them and watching them earlier in the evening the following day. I promise, whatever you choose, you'll feel better! There are some days I don't watch TV at all, others that I watch two episodes or a movie, but that's all. As always, be reasonable with yourself! You don't have to go cold turkey, just moderate your consumption.
Well, lovelies, that's all for now! I hope you start implementing these tips today, and I promise you'll see your life improve. And this is just to start, feel free to go more "radical" as you do these daily! Maybe you start walking around the neighborhood for half an hour each day. Maybe you start watching only show per day. Maybe you delete your main social media app from your phone so you're forced to be less active. Maybe you start going to bed earlier. Maybe you take a retreat to really indulge in self care. Whatever it may be, you do you! Only you can say what you need, but I promise, the more you insulate your world from negativity, shower it with positive vibes, build bits of joy into your daily routine, exercise, and care for yourself, you'll find yourself moving through life with a bit more ease, with a bit more joy, with a more grateful heart. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find yourself happier more often. Maybe you'll find your life is just a teensy bit better than it was before you started this list.
Best of luck loves! Let me know what you think in the comments-though try not to be negative! What was your favorite step to implement, what was the hardest, do you notice an improvement?
Xoxo
Kayla
Kayla
